Just Reviews For Now...

Reviews first, musings (rantings?) second...

"Twilight Samurai" Why are samurai movies so awesome? Seriously...why?
Forget "The Last Samurai" and instead check out this import from Japan that heralds back to all those kick-ass Kurosawa films (actually, it reminded me more of the Miyamoto Musashi trilogy, but whatever). Though there is actually very little fighting in the movie, somehow anything that takes place in feudal Japan causes the awesomeness level to jump up tenfold. And these movies WOULDN'T be as cool if they were dubbed. Something about authentic Japanese, spoken from dudes with wicked-looking swords and cloaks, is just rad. And what's great about these movies is that they are often handled with realism and authenticity. If the samurai characters started doing ridiculous ninja-turtle-esque flips and superhero moves, it would not be nearly as cool. But the way the fights are always staged accurately and believably makes the sense of danger from a single sword swipe all the more real. In "Duel at Ganryu Island" (the third of the Miyamoto trilogy), this huge epic duel at sunset is just a buildup to who will be able to make the killing blow quicker than the other. The final "fight" consists of only two moves, but it is still intensely emotional and gripping.
And I love how much human drama and honor they manage to pack into these movies too. Seriously, samurai carry some heavy, weighty baggage on their shoulders. Jedi got nothing on them (especially since they were essentially INSPIRED by them).
I would love to shoot a short samurai film (in Japanese) if only I could find or figure out the right script. How much fun would it be to get a camera, some costumes, and wander off into the wilderness and shoot a samurai movie? Seriously, who's with me?
I realize I haven't done much to review the actual film other than to blow my wad over how cool samurai are, but who cares? It's a samurai movie...check it out.

"The Notebook" I tried to watch this movie with as much as an open mind as possible. Chick flicks get a bad rap, but I tried to give this movie a chance. However this so-called "film" is nothing more than emotional pornography for girls.
I hate to tell you ladies, but no man is going to go to the ends of the earth for you like Ryan Gosling does, especially if you leave him out to dry as Rachel McAdams does here (the bitch!). If you leave him behind, he's going to move on to greener pastures, not wait around at your convenience!
"The Notebook" also feels weirdly like two movies wrapped into one, neither of which work very well. At first it's this sub-par era romance about young love. Fluffy stuff, but I can live with it. However the story is recounted in (overused) flashback form by James Garner to some older lady.
(SPOILERS for all you attention-starved women out there!)
It's no huge surprise that Garner is recounting the story of how he and the woman met, and that they are in fact the much older iterations of McAdams and Gosling. However, then the movie takes a weird turn. As it turns out, Garner/Gosling/unrealistic-dream-man has been recounting this story over and over again to the older woman in a last effort to rekindle their lost love, since she has Alzheimer's. And he does this practically every day, just for a chance to have a few moments where she remembers who they were together. And we're talking SECONDS here people! After old-dream-man tells the story for what seems like at least an entire afternoon, old-lady-McAdams is only able to hug the guy for about half a minute, before she is suddenly repulsed and frightened by him as she forgets all over again. If she has that sort of short-term memory loss, how did she even sit still through the entire story? Didn't anyone see "Memento?" I guess Garner just has to wait until the next day to try all over again...oh well.
Girls, if you want a good accurate Alzheimer's movie, check out Julie Christie in "Away From Her." Of course you clearly DON'T want one of those...you'd rather have a so-called "romance" with more contrivances than the story of Xenu or the Creationist Museum.
If that wasn't enough, the movie ends with old dream-boy and old dream-girl snuzzling up together and dying on the same night. Awwww. BARF!
Of course, I was forced to see this movie with a girl, and she blubbered through the whole thing. I did my best to comfort her, but I'm glad she was so focused on the movie, so that she didn't see my eyes rolling so much that they practically fell out of my head.
I'm sorry girls, but THIS is why so many of you get disappointed. Even the nicest of us guys, we can't compare to the unrealistic Ryan Gosling dreamboat, because he doesn't exist! How are we supposed to compare with this stupid emotional masturbatory fantasy!
Girls get angry and say that "all guys want are sex," and frankly, that's not true. Sex is honestly one of the last things I'm looking for off the bat (though it's nice!). But if all girls want is complete and utter devotion to the point that we men never get a chance to do anything else with our lives, then sex might as well be all we're looking for. Because at least with sex, you get a chance to take a break every once in a while.

"GoodFellas" I've never been a Scorsese fan, and I've always felt guilty about this. Film students and scholars alike seem to go ga-ga over Martin Scorsese, so I feel like I must be missing something. But very few of his movies really stir me in any sort of important way. For the most part, I can't stand them.
When I tell people this, a lot of them say, "Go see 'GoodFellas.'" Well, I finally saw "GoodFellas" and again, I wasn't impressed.
It's not that Scorsese isn't technically a skilled filmmaker by any means. Nor is it that I dislike too much violence in movies. Violence is fine, as long as you're making a point about it, or making it very clear that it is meant to be tongue-in-cheek or not literal.
My biggest issue with Scorsese, I realize, is that his films are always about disconnect. Pretty much every one of his movies are about how some character just withdraws completely and becomes a sociopath in one way or another. Look at his filmography, and I think you'll see that I am right.
Now does this happen to people in real life? Sure. But I sure as hell don't want to be reminded of how lonely or disconnected I might be when I watch a movie. I'd rather see a film about people coming together despite their flaws and differences. For me, humanity is defined by our interconnectedness, not our separation.
And also, what was the point of "GoodFellas" exactly? That the mob is corrupt, and crime ultimately doesn't pay? That's fine I suppose, but all the characters in this movie were such assholes from the get-go that I didn't give a shit about what happened to them. I was HAPPY when they finally got what they deserved, and Ray Liotta never came close to gaining my sympathy.
"The Godfather," for example, is also a movie about the mob. And while I've never adored "The Godfather" as much as others do, it is a good film. And one of the reasons it is good is because you care about the Corleone family. Michael is a sympathetic hero (who ultimately gets sucked in by his family), and Don Vito is an old man whom you love and respect. It's made clear that the family lives by their own code, but that it is a code of honor. Other mob families in the film are shown to be even worse and more despicable, and thus while the Corleone family is a family of murderers, we love them because we see the humanity in them.
Nothing like this ever happens in "GoodFellas." They were all a bunch of shitheads, and I was glad when their lives crumbled to pieces. I wasn't glad that I was forced to sit and watch them for two and a half hours. I want my time back, Scorsese.

"Waking the Dead" Sometimes it's nice to see an experiment fail. This is an interesting indie movie about a man (played by Billy Crudup) running for Congress, who starts to have visions or hallucinations about his dead girlfriend (Jennifer Connelly). When I saw the movie, I wasn't expecting a ghost story, so that was kind of cool.
The movie meanders for a long time without going much of anywhere for a while. There are a few spooky moments, but generally it feels like a run-of-the-mill artsy romance with some eerie ghost stuff thrown in for good measure. At times it is all a bit tedious, as numerous flashbacks showing the relationship as it used to be distract from the main ghost story going on in the present day (I like ghost stories!).
Then suddenly, about 3/4 in, the movie won me over. And I honestly have no idea why. Something changed to make me really love this little movie, complete with all its many flaws.
"Waking the Dead" is not a conventional movie by any means, and normally I use the term "mood piece" to describe a bland work that doesn't lead anywhere. But in the end, I really liked this film. I also always have liked Billy Crudup, and he actually shows much more range and versatility in this film than I've seen in any other. It's nice when the non-A-listers get a small movie like this to flex their acting muscles (Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor" anyone?).

"Diner" Three years ago, for CTPR 290 (the best class I had at USC), I was required to direct a scene straight out of a script. I got "Diner," and I did the best I could (and overall, I'm proud of the job I did). I made a point of never watching the movie until after I shot the scene, because I didn't want the movie to color my interpretation of how I was going to do things.
Well, I finally got around to seeing the movie. And I loved it!
Barry Levinson's interpretation on Boogie and Bill was a lot more subtle than mine, but that sort of knowledge of directing comes with age, I think. It's nice to know that I was generally on the right track. Not a lot really happens in "Diner," but at my current age, it's great to see a movie about guys in their early twenties trying to figure their life out (it's also why "The Graduate" has gained new relevance for me recently).
One of the most shocking things about seeing "Diner" now is seeing Mickey Rourke back in his glory days. Having just seen "The Wrestler" it's shocking to notice how different Rourke used to look, and how much his voice has changed. He was still a good actor when he was younger, but the differences between then and now are astounding.
As a bonus, "Diner" also gives you another movie to use for "six ways to Kevin Bacon."

"Kindergarten Cop" I somehow completely missed this movie growing up, so I decided to check it out. It's a lot of fun to see Arnold Schwarzenegger completely baffled by how to deal with kindergarteners after punching out tough guys, and all the scenes with Ahh-nuhld and the kids are the best parts. While by no means a landmark piece of filmmaking, it probably is the best non R-rated Schwarzenegger movie I've seen.

"Conan the Barbarian" Continuing my Arnold kick, I got lucky and saw "Conan the Barbarian" on the big screen at the New Beverly Center as part of their Sword and Sorcery Night. And I had never SEEN Conan the Barbarian!
Yes, this movie was cheesy as hell, and yes, a lot of the effects are dated. Other effects, though, were still quite impressive (the scene where they fight off the "souls" from Conan's body at night was sweet). I finally get what all of the fuss is about, and I'm so glad I got to see it on the big screen with a bunch of other geeky fantasy fans.
The only real disappointment is that, after seeing James Earle Jones turn into a snake once, I assumed he was going to do it again later in his final fight against Conan. But instead, it's just a general run-of-the mill decapitation. Oh well. And it's also weird that James Earle Jones uses the "I am your father" line again. It's almost as if Conan's thinking, "No way, dude. That's impossible. You're black, I'm white, and I saw 'The Empire Strikes Back' anyway. I know that trick."
The movie is made even more entertaining knowing that Arnold is now our current governor. And honestly, his "acting" in this movie is pretty pathetic. Arnold's never been the best "actor" per se, but some of his later work shows his comic versatility and timing. That ability isn't really present in this movie since it was so early in his career, but it also doesn't really matter.
It's also cool to see Max von Sydow in a cameo role, and I really liked the girl who played Valeria. Her "Do you want to live forever" line at the end had be practically jumping in the aisles cheering.
Also, there's a rumor that, in the scene where Arnold punches the camel, the camel actually was killed. Does anyone know if this is actually true? Is Arnie a camel-killer?

"Deathstalker 2" The only other movie I saw in full at the New Bev's Sword and Sorcery Night was "Deathstalker 2." Frankly, I may have enjoyed it more than Conan.
This is a B-movie (C-movie?) in every sense of the word. The director was there for a Q&A, and I talked to him afterwards. Apparently, the first (and third and fourth) Deathstalker movies take themselves pretty seriously (and thus SUCK). However, on this one, when the director read the script, he realized that it sucked, and he also realized that he had no money. So, he decided to make it as cheeseball hilarious as possible.
And BOY did he succeed. Damn, this was a lot of fun, again made more so by the New Beverly crowd.
I've tried to see if I can buy this movie on DVD, but it is very hard to come by (for a reasonable price anyway). It's too bad, because I definitely want to own a copy. You could make a good drinking game out of every time they use "that" sound effect, and every time a girl shows her tits (normally, I don't like using the word "tits," but trust me, it's appropriate for this movie).

"Fatal Attraction" Doing a complete 180 from my "Notebook" review is "Fatal Attraction," which I finally saw for the first time a couple nights ago. "Fatal Attraction" is what would happen to any of those girls who actually believed that "Notebook" shit to the point of psychosis, assuming they were already off their rocker to begin with.
"Fatal Attraction" is every guy's worst nightmare. Michael Douglas has (what he presumes) to be a one-night stand with Glenn Close, but then she starts going more and more bat-shit crazy, to the point of stalking his family (and then some).
Some of the movie feels as if we've seen it before, but that's likely because many other movies have ripped off the premise since it was made. In particular, the movie reminded me a lot of Paul Verhoeven's "Basic Instinct" (it doesn't help that both star Michael Douglas). In fact, I wonder if Verhoeven was intentionally borrowing from this movie or not. While "Basic Instinct" is fun, I think "Fatal Attraction" is a better movie, simply because it doesn't have the sly "wink" Verhoeven likes to put in most of his films. "Starship Troopers" for example, spends so much time winking and pointing goofy things out to you that it fails to become grounded in reality like, say, "Aliens" does.
Don't get me wrong, though. Verhoeven is immensely entertaining nonetheless.

Anyways, that's all I have time for now. I was going to go on a rant about some confusing things going on in my life right now, but in retrospect, just writing SOMETHING, even if it was just a bunch of reviews, has made me feel better. Rantings and ravings can wait for another day.
Hope all is well with all of you!