Back in the saddle again...

...That rocky, bumpy, wild ride of a saddle that hurts my crotch a lot--called film school!

I am SO glad to be back and seeing everyone, and I am SO glad that our apartment situation has semi-sorted itself out, and that everyone is getting along great so far.

BUT 310 is terrifying. I feel my script is GOOD, but something's missing...and I can't figure it out. Well I sort of can, but it's far easier to see the flaws in something than to work out how to fix them. It didn't help that I got mixed messages from certain people, first telling what is and what isn't feasible, and then telling me what does and doesn't work...but oh well. I'm not really surprised by any of this...but it's still annoying and stressful. I know for a fact that I'm not freaking out about 310 half as much as some other people are, and I think I've got a sold enough handle with where I'm going, but that doesn't mean I don't feel at least partially lost.

And of course there's the whole worry that college is already more than half over and I've wasted my time here. Fuck mid-LIFE crises...it's all about the mid-COLLEGE one. Have I spent too much time studying/working on projects and not enough time forming strong, lasting relationships? Has this always been a flaw in my character? I know that, like my father, I can often be too much of a workaholic, neglecting the people I care or should be caring about.

And I worry that the horrible time I had in my senior year of h.s. dealing with social ostracism and isolation may have dealt too much of a crippling blow to my ego, and that I'm WAAAY behind in the social curve. Even if I DO try to go out there and meet people, is it already a lost cause?

But screw this whiny bull-crap. Here's the mandatory movie mentionings: "Snakes on a Plane" was fun, even if I didn't spend the entire time watching the snakes. And I also saw "Dog Soldiers" with some of the SB crew before leaving home. The movie was very very good until the werewolves showed up; then it was laughable. Unlike "The Evil Dead" where the entire thing was toungue-and-cheek, here everything WAS done very intensely and frighteningly, except whenever the stupid-looking monsters were actually visible. It was kind of like that "Beowulf" movie I made for 290 (or "Realm of the Claw" if you want to get technical). Everything in the movie I'm very proud of, UNTIL that ridiculously dumb monster shows up at the climax and kills the intense, semi-frightening (or at least attempted so) mood.

Anyways...my ecology class looks fun at least. Cheerio, and good luck surviving this semester if you're in a boat similar to mine.