Thanksgiving with the Johnsons...

So Thanksgiving was fun. I'm not sure if the maxim "absence makes the heart grow fonder" applies to girls as well as people like to think it does, but it CERTAINLY applies to one's hometown. Getting back to Santa Barbara, even for a few days, is like a breath of fresh air for the soul. I always return more energized and refreshed than ever, until the dogged oppression of LA weighs me down into apathy.

On Thursday we had Thanksgiving at grandpa's rest home, and then on Friday we had real Thanksgiving where we cooked everything. My favorite thing to observe was that my mom's mom was there for FOUR FRIGGIN' DAYS. I don't know if I was just too young to recognize it as well before, or whether my mom has just gotten less good at hiding it, but my mom can't STAND my grandma. I have never seen my mother get reduced to someone who is so irritated, and so helpless to do anything about it. When we were kids and we bothered her, she could always yell at us or order us to do something, but that was not the case here.

And there was good reason. My grandma is kind of like the grandma from "Everybody Loves Raymond" except a lot worse. She must have second-guessed EVERYTHING my mom did, but she did it in such a fashion as to not sound critical, but as if to make these nit-picky suggestions. Example: "Oh, Mary...(long pause)...we do the mashed potatoes differently...I always try a little bit of pepper...". That in itself isn't so bad, but the constant barrage of these "suggestions" had my mom going crazier than I've seen her in quite a while. My mom became the rebellious little girl, and everything HER mom did was STUPID STUPID STUPID. Am I a sociopath for saying it was pretty fun to watch?

And the OTHER fun thing to watch was my mom's mom and my dad's dad interact. My grandmother is a bible-thumping, George-Bush-knows-what-he's-doing, conservative through and through (she once told my dad, with no warning at all, that if he ran for president, she would never vote for him). I wouldn't label my grandpa as a liberal per se, but he is a man of SCIENCE. And he's a sharp dude for his age. If any of you out there wonder where I get my constant "oh that's a northern swallowtail" vibe, it's from my dad and grandpa. My grandpa has all sorts of stuff around his apartment that he's always bringing to show us--various interesting seed pods or flowers from rare plants he's found or someone's given to him (people GIVE him this stuff because they'll know he'll enjoy it). Anyway, seeing him and my grandma interact is one of the funniest, most pathetic things I've ever seen. They never offend each other, but they are so incompatible their conversations never go anywhere. And yet my grandpa tries SO HARD. Here's an example of what I'm talking about--keep in mind both these people are very old, and speak very slowly, but deliberately (i.e. it's damn funny):

Dad's Dad: "Take a look at this Anne...what do you think that is?"
Mom's Mom: "Ohhh...it's very nice. Did someone make it for you?"
Dad's Dad: (too deaf to hear her question) "That's a seed pod from a rare palm from the island of Mauritius!"
Mom's Mom: "Ohhh...it's nice." (She sets the pod down, and there's an awkward silence).
(Grandpa looks around for some other way to make conversation. Picks up a photograph).
Dad's Dad: "This is a photo one of my former students sent me. It's a rare species of hawk he saw in Africa."
Mom's Mom: "Ohhh...that's nice. Look at those...pretty feathers. How nice."
Dad's Dad: [Goes into incredibly long-winded story of the hawk's feeding habits, about 2% of which my grandma understands].

This goes on for HOURS.

Anyway, after Thanksgiving on Thursday, our family sat down and watched "Inside Man." Pretty good movie. However it wasn't necessarily the most straightforward plot in the world (it's a heist movie, so of COURSE there's supposed to be some mystery attached). Mom and I figured out everything OK. My dad, who's usually pretty sharp with these things, needed a couple things clarified for him, and my grandma didn't have a CLUE what was going on. Also, the movie contained a lot of language, which she couldn't stand. Every two minutes she went "my, such language" or "is that really necessary" or "what is that word they keep saying?" (not literally, in a disapproving manner). At one point I just turned to her, looked her in the eye, and said very slowly, "Grandma...they're cops and robbers...they don't talk like eight-year olds." That shut her up for about half an hour.

On Friday night I went and hung out with Dev Z and Jay. Jay has a pretty sweet new guitar, and Devin still has his girlfriend, so they're both doing well. We shot some pool and watched "Slither," which Jay and I have been waiting for MONTHS to see. It was pretty fun, but WAAAAY to short.

Now I'm back in LA. It sucks. Every time I'm in LA I miss SB, and every time I'm in SB I miss the PEOPLE I've met in LA. I just need a select few of those whom I've come to know and love at school to move to Santa Barbara sometime. Then everything will be perfect.