Friday, March 28, 2008

Dogless


Penny (the black one) died over Spring Break, the day before I managed to get home. It's OK, because I got to see her the weekend before and tell her goodbye. I am nowhere near as beat up about Penny dying as I was about Sunny, partially because Sunny was very much MY dog, while Penny was more my sister's, and also because things are much easier the second time around.
Even so, I am going to miss her dearly. She was a very sweet dog. They both were. The two of them shaped my childhood growing up more than any person has ever done, save maybe my parents.
Now is the first time since I was seven years old where I have not had a dog in my life. I'm sad they are gone, but more so, there is an empty hole that they used to fill. Knowing that someone furry, who loved you unconditionally and never judged you, and was waiting for you at home was the best comfort possible.
At some point, when I have figured out what I am doing with MY life, and I have settled down enough, I am going to get a couple dogs again. I want to make sure it's a place where they will have space, and I want to get two again so they can keep each other company. But I don't see any two dogs ever being as special to me as Sunny and Penny, because they truly were the best friends I’ve ever had.
I'm going to write one hundred things I remember, to honor them. A lot of these anecdotes might not make too much grammatical sense, but that’s because I’m writing only to remind myself.
1. When I picked you out. Sunny, the largest. Penny, the runt.
2. When I played with all your brothers and sisters, surrounded by puppies. They all fell asleep on me. When dinner was served, all the puppies got up to leave, except for you, Sunny. You fell asleep on my lap.
3. Sunny, when you trapped your head under the house as a puppy, and we were so worried, and then you fell asleep, with your head still stuck!
4. When David and I came to bring you home, and you fell asleep on our laps in that giant lawn.
5. When we were bringing you home, and how you pressed your noses against my dad's window in the truck, scared to see us leave, even though we were just getting snacks.
6. How you always seemed to remember David when he came to visit, because he had brought you home with me.
7. When you were puppies, and we had to keep you enclosed in a smaller area. How Penny figured out how to break the fence (she was the smart one), and how she then recruited Sunny to break the fence for her (he was the strong one).
8. When I read "Where the Red Fern Grows" for the first time, and thought of you two as Old Dan and Little Ann.
9. When my parents would rush you into our bedrooms to wake us up in the morning, and how I could never wake up angry when I was greeted with your licking faces.
10. Steven Polchinski screaming "Arg, it's the black one!" at my birthday party.
11. When we gave you sandals to chew.
12. When you would return from Steve's, with gloves in your mouth.
13. When we had to trap you in the dog kennel when some visitors came, and how you whined and moaned and howled.
14. How you NEVER used your doghouse!
15. Lizard hunting with you guys and Stimpy--the most fun I've EVER had!
16. Playing "wolves" with you and my sister.
17. Falling asleep on your warm bellies countless times.
18. When you hung out on the lawn with Woodstock the iguana.
19. When Uncle Nelson made the crack about "So when did your dogs die," when you were all zonked out from the Thanksgiving turkey.
20. How you were always excited to see our relatives at Christmas and Thanksgiving.
21. When I pretended to be injured just to see how you would react, and you both got super scared and tried to protect me.
22. When I got mad at you Sunny for growling at a friend of mine, so I ignored you, and how you knew I was mad, and felt very upset and tried extra hard to show me you loved me.
23. When I taught you how to sit, stay, shake, jump, and run around the house, but how you never learned to roll over.
24. Penny, when you showed up with the dead chicken, and Dad thought you had killed it, and we were worried we would have to give you away.
25. Penny, how you loved sleeping under cars more than anything.
26. How you both always seemed to remember Kate when she came over.
27. Sunny, how I slept on your belly one time, and we saw a red-tailed hawk fly so low we could feel the wind of its wings right over us.
28. When it snowed, and we all played in the snow with you guys!
29. When we would go on long walks, and how Penny would always lick the rain puddles as she walked through them.
30. When we took you to the beach, and you didn't really like it.
31. When you rode around in the back of our car, and Sunny would always barf once, and Penny about twenty times.
32. How you both picked a pooping spot away from the house. How considerate!
33. How Penny was always jealous for attention if anyone petted Sunny first.
34. ALL those glorious "Puppy" movies I made with the video camera, that is probably why I am here now at USC.
35. When we gave you "middle" names. Sunny Lion Johnson, and Penny Flower Johnson.
36. Sunny, how you always sat so majestic and proud on that high rock, like you were from The Lion King.
37. Brushing you guys periodically, and how Penny always shed like CRAZY.
38. When it rained, and how you always looked so miserable, and I would spend hours with you in the garage.
39. How you always shivered with fright from the fireworks after the Fourth of July.
40. Sunny, how we never fixed your poor partially turned-in eye.
41. Sunny, how we had to stop your romantic excursions with Clover, and how you whined and cried.
42. Penny, how you would always drink up a WHOLE bunch of water, and then slobber all over us as if to say "hi."
43. When you both got older, and were too tired to go on long walks, but still enjoyed the short ones.
44. How you always got excited when you saw the leashes because you knew it meant we were going somewhere!
45. When we took you to the river, and you didn't like the water, but you went in anyway just to please us.
46. When you would come to us, carrying one stick between the two of you.
47. Penny, when you got ripped open by a raccoon on Christmas day, and we took you to the hospital to get you fixed.
48. Penny, how you always got skunked (at least three times), and how the one time you skunked up my car.
49. When you were SO confused by snow that one time, and were barking at us inquisitively as if to ask what it was.
50. Sunny, how you are on that one Christmas card, looking back at the camera. One of my favorite pictures ever.
51. When the mountain lion attacked the goats, and you were both so scared and worried up at the house.
52. Sunny, how you and Stimpy used to get into "manly" fights, even though Stimpy was a bit of a wimp.
53. How Sunny, Penny, Stimpy, and Rosie would always share food.
54. How we ran into Rosie that one time after you dogs hadn't seen her for a year, and yet you still recognized her.
55. How Erin and I used to snack on your dog food.
56. How David and I found out that you, Penny, REALLY liked the taste of tangerines. You're the only dog I've met who likes the taste of tangerines.
57. How you would shiver at night during thunderstorms, and how I would hold you close and try to comfort you.
58. How Sunny's bark used to squeak when he went through "puppy puberty."
59. Penny, how you once rolled down that hill by accident and hit a tree.
60. How we would so often go hiking in a random direction just to blaze a trail, and you were always there.
61. How Dad and I had to pull ticks off of you, and how Penny always somehow had WAY more.
62. When I would hike at night with you guys, find a quiet place, and look at the stars.
63. When everyone at school laughed at your "Lord of the Rings" cameo in my high school movie.
64. How I wrote a poem about you, Sunny, in 5th grade.
65. How Hank and Drover in the "Hank the Cowdog" series always reminded me of Sunny and Stimpy.
66. How Grandma Anne one time tried to relax on the lawn, and you two were too giddy and you wouldn't let her because you wanted to play.
67. How I wrote made up stories about you and pictures in my journals.
68. How badly I felt when I had to leave you guys for college, especially you Sunny.
69. When I was away at college, and I missed you, Sunny, and Erin told me how you missed me, and how you would whine and act lonely.
70. How happy you were to see me come home from college my first time!
71. When we would cover you up with blankets on cold nights to keep you warm, and how you both liked it more for the attention than for the blankets.
72. How we once bought you both these nice warm "pet beds," and how they were shredded within a day.
73. How one time Erin and I decided to brush your yucky puppy teeth with toothbrushes.
74. Penny, how your breath always smelled TERRIBLE (way worse than Sunny's).
75. How Erin always would sneak you into the house without our parents permission, especially on colder nights, and how you always fell asleep.
76. How, on that one movie we made, where we got our parents permission to bring you indoors, and in the movie you were supposed to be excited and afraid, but instead you only fell asleep and we could not get you to do anything.
77. How Danny was afraid of you at first because he was afraid of dogs, but how you helped him get over that fear.
78. Penny, how you loved being scratched in that special place behind the temple, while Sunny liked it on the back of the head and behind the ears.
79. Penny, how you loved being rubbed on your leg, and you would stretch it out, while Sunny liked being rubbed on the butt, but he would always turn around because it felt SO good.
80. Penny, how you would always turn multiple circles before going to sleep.
81. Penny, how you were a grass eater!
82. Penny, the one time you licked up an earwig. Yuck!
83. How you guys would snap at flies on hot days. Stimpy too.
84. How Sunny got that one terrible nail in his paw, and we had to take you to the vet to get it out, and how you were such a brave dog at the vet's office, even though we knew you were very scared.
85. How, when there were four of you, how there was a doggie totem pole. Rosie, Sunny, Penny, Stimpy.
86. How Sebastian and Sunny did not get along.
87. How when we first installed the electric fence, and how you learned to jump it by running really fast.
88. How, when we were training you with the electric fence, and Penny wrapped around a tree, and wound up shocking Mom.
89. I remember the feeling of your fur. Sunny, richer. Penny, coarser, but thicker.
90. How, when I would pet you guys, your eyes would roll into the back of your head as you drifted off to sleep. I would often play a game where I would try to make you fall asleep, and then sneak away, but you always awoke no matter how hard I tried.
91. How you were such great alarms when any car came in, even though you were always friendly, and how Sunny was always the louder barker, and how you followed the cars from the bottom of the hill all they way up to the top!
92. How you made friends with the UPS guy.
93. How you both hated taking baths, but were such goods sports about it.
94. Sunny, how when you were dying, you tried to walk, only because you could see I wanted you to, and you couldn't, and I had to carry you to the house.
95. Sunny, how you died on the day of the winter solstice, symbolic of when the Sun is in the sky the least amount of all.
96. How Sunny, when you died, you waited for each of us to say goodbye to you that morning, before you let go.
97. How, when Sunny died, Penny knew something was wrong, but didn't recognize Sunny's body as Sunny, as if the soul had left.
98. Sunny, how I cried and cried and cried in the hay barn when I put the shovel away, after holding back tears when I buried you. I don't think I've ever cried harder in my life.
99. How, after Sunny died, Penny was never the same. She would never bark anymore, for example.
100. How much you taught me to be a good person inside.
I could write more, but that's enough.
I love you guys. If all dogs do go to heaven, they still better rush you to the head of the line.

Anyway, it seems a little silly to do movie reviews at this point, but I'll do some anyway.
I saw Michael Moore's first documentary "Roger & Me" and thought it was quite good, although depressingly hopeless and sad. I honestly, have only seen two of Moore's documentaries at this point (this one and "The Big One") but it was nice to see him as less belligerent than he has become in later docs. Or so I've heard. I probably should SEE some of these docs before I judge TOO much.
"Jumper" was a pretty terrible movie, but I saw it for free, so I had a lot of fun. It's one of those movies that just gets so ridiculous and outlandish that you can't help but have fun enjoying how hackneyed and stupid it is. It's sort of in the same genre of "Battlefield Earth." Both movies are terrible, but incredibly entertainingly terrible in their lacks of logic that you can enjoy it quite a bit. The biggest glaring flaw in the movie (and there are a LOT) for me was when Hayden Christensen returns to his hometown after about a decade of going missing, and his girl Rachel Bilson decides to just quit her life and go travel with him to Europe. What girl in their right mind would ever drop everything in their life for some guy that disappeared when they were in elementary school? Still, the transporting effects, though no different than Nightcrawler in X-Men, are pretty cool, even if they wear out their welcome fairly fast. This movie is worthless, but that's why if you don't have to PAY for it, you should see it!
"Funny Games" was certainly a very interesting movie that I think had something to do with the deconstruction of the new "horror-gore-porn" genre we've seen emerge as super popular in the last decade or so. While always sustaining my interest, in the end I don't think I liked it that much. I'm fine with movies breaking the fourth wall, but in a few cases this movie just got ridiculous (can you break a FIFTH wall?). Performances are all good though, and I was quite surprised that Naomi Watts was an executive producer for the film. It's a remake (and apparently a shot-for-shot one), so she must have liked the original.
I caught "The Bourne Ultimatum" with my parents over spring break. It was a very solid action flick, with some standout performances (although Julia Stiles' character was a bit redundant). I had trouble following at first because I missed the second movie, but eventually I was able to fill in the gaps. The movie won all the editing and sound awards, and this is mainly due to the fact that it was directed by Paul Greenglass, who made the phenomenal "United 93." After that, an action movie like this must have been a walk in the park for him. Greenglass gets that these movies are about people, and not the set pieces, so this movie packs a lot more dramatic punch than the Doug Liman directed "Bourne Identity" did.
Even so, I have issues enjoying these movies too much, simply because I know a bit about how the CIA operates, and it doesn't work this way. The "Bourne" movies try to portray everything with a "gritty realism" into what the CIA is really like, and they take themselves pretty seriously. But because I know that this isn't how it is, I never buy it very well. I'm more inclined to enjoy a ridiculous James Bond secret underground lair than the CIA in these movies because at least in that case the movie is never trying to fool anybody, and I can go along for the ride. In my view, either portray something accurately, or show that you are just having fun. Don’t try to trick us, because you won’t (well, not ME anyway).
Lastly, has anybody ever heard of "The Maxx"? I hadn't, until recently. It was a comic book series turned into an animated mini-series on MTV in 1994. At the time, I was too young to watch MTV, and once I was old enough to watch MTV, all the shows sucked balls. But "The Maxx" was one of the most interesting, stylish, and surprisingly, poignant things I've ever seen in a mini-series. The animated style captures the comics perfectly (totally beating Rodriguez's "Sin City" to the punch apparently), and I got a lump in my throat a few times. The show is not out on DVD yet, although you can find and download it online if you look for it (I'm working on it myself), and there are a few VHS copies out there. I highly recommend this show if you can get your hands on a copy.
Plus, I discovered the character of Julie is voiced by Glynnis Talken! If you don't know who Glynnis Talken is, she also voices Sarah Kerrigan in the Starcraft games!!! Talk about being able to do two of the coolest female voices in animation history!