Eastern Penises

I don't get David Cronenberg. Aside from his really awesome version of "The Fly," I just am never able to understand what he is actually getting at in his movies.

"Eastern Promises" features a whole shitload of violence and general debauchery, to the point where even I was disgusted (and that's saying something). Yet in the end after all this, we wind up with a scene of almost soap opera proportions involving a baby. David Welch told me that both this movie and "A History of Violence" were really meant to be dark, dark comedies, but if that was the case, I don't think it succeeded either. Instead we just wound up with two moves that had very, VERY weird vibes throughout them.

The movie does get some points for featuring tons of Russians, whom I've always said make the best villains. And Viggo is certainly the ultimate badass in his role (even when his accent isn't perfect). The much-talked-about scene in the Turkish Bath, where Viggo engages in a bloody battle completely naked, is pretty brutal, but definitely shows the actors' commitment to character. Although I have to say for someone as manly as Viggo, I'm surprised how "average" he is in one particular department. I think I may even have him beat...not that I've measured or anything...

I liked this "Promises" more than "A History of Violence," but it's still a very, VERY weird and violent movie to the point of excess. My major issue with Cronenberg seems to be with his endings. "History of Violence" was going some interesting places, but then ended in a ridiculously cartoonish performance by John Hurt. And in this movie, we take what seemed like a study about the inner workings of a Russian mob and turn it into near camp. Is this what David means by "funny?" Because I would just call it BAD. And what was the deal with the repressed gay sub-plot?

If somebody reading this DID "get" the movie, please tell me, because I would like to know!